you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
