Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize