You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
