It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
