So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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