You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
