Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
