i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
third nipple confirmed
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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