The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Randomize
