carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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