I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have tasted many bathrooms
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
