Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
