I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
