she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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