This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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