did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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