There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
