please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
