i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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