singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
