while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
