we made out on top of his cat.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
