Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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