I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
