ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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