I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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