every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
