he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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