I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
