is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
