You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
