I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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