I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
