I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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