Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Still dying that you shit outside
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
