ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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