I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
