I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
