whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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