I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
