I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
