youre lurking in front of me
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
