On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
