So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
