Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize