Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Randomize