oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
