Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your shirt... Was in my pants
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
