She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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