9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
