awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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