can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
