I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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