it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
