my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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