So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
