Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
