You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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