I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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