Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
