He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
